The Gang’s All There…Or Here
by pagman
Summary: The CSIs get through a day at work. Or perhaps they get through multiple days, no one can really tell when they go home…
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If CSI was mine do you honestly think that Catherine's boobs would get more screen time than Sara? **

**A/N: Today is Dev's birthday and I've been sitting on this for a while. Happy Birthday!!!!**

**It's crap, un-beta'd, and I am fully aware of these facts. No flames please but review if you want… All mistakes are mine.**

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* * *

**A man runs through the forest. Behind him footsteps can be heard. You can believe that no one will see the mysterious person behind him. That is, if there is a mysterious person to be seen. 

The next sound heard is a gunshot.

* * *

Two majestic Denali's arrived at the scene. From these Denali's appeared Grissom, Nick, Greg, Breasts, and the Rock. Suspiciously absent was Sara. Brass was already there, standing over the body. 

He quickly delivered what was known about the victim. As his name wasn't known there would be more than enough opportunity to discover who the victim was in a complicated though lucky process. There was suspected to be some witty comment from Brass though this time, none is forthcoming.

Super Dave then told time of death, guessing that cause of death was gunshot wound to the temple. He estimated time of death at seven hours ago and removed the body from the scene.

"What are you thinking Grissom?" asked Breasts as, mysteriously, a button popped off her shirt exposing more bra than normal.

"Gah," he said. "I hope I never have to see that again."

"Who are you? Who, who, who, who?"

"Sorry," mumbled Greg as he checked his phone. "I downloaded it and put it as my ring tone. Always figured it was such a good song to be our theme tune."

"I always thought Another One Bites the Dust would be more acceptable," said Brass thus having a slightly witty moment. His talk caused a chuckle from the Rock.

Though processing a crime scene takes many hours, it seemed like only five minutes. Loading up the Denali's with evidence they drove back to lab and deposited evidence at the various lab techs that would be investigate the evidence using flashing lights and more than a couple of inappropriate moments.

Grissom drew the short straw and had to drop evidence off with Hodges. "Some trace," was all he said as he dropped a bag of evidence on Hodges' counter.

"You're stuff has just been moved to the top of my pile boss," said Hodges. "Now you're here this may be a good time to discuss a recent memo that came across my desk…"

"Later," said Grissom as he strode out the door to the layout room.

* * *

"The victim has been identified as William Smith. Someone was smart enough to label his underwear for us," Doc Robbins intoned. 

David stuck his head in as, very conveniently, he happened to be passing by at that very moment. "I was the one to sniff the shorts again and saw the name."

"Quit whining Super Dave, it's your job," said the Rock. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Super Dave stared at him before he let his gaze drift to the ground and shuffled out the door.

"What do you least suspect COD to be?" asked Doc Robbins once the Rock and Breasts seemed less stunned from their encounter with Super Dave.

"Death by being abducting aliens only to be on the receiving end of experiments then deposited back down on Earth?" said Breasts.

"What type of experiments?" said the Rock, changing his usual expression to one with a raised eyebrow.

"Stick around and you may just be lucky enough to find out," Breasts said.

"Well it wasn't alien abduction though, if it isn't too forward of me to say, where was that on my honeymoon? Let's think of something within the realms of possibilities. Like something that comes across this table of mine on more than one occasion."

Both Breasts and the Rock thought about what it could be. They stared at each then stared at Doc Robbins who just smiled deviously at them.

Breasts broke the silence by saying the first cause of death that came to mind. "He was smothered with a pillow…?"

"How did you guess?" said Doc Robbins, clearly amazed.

"It's a gift," she said with a shrugged.

"You never did show me your other gift," said the Rock.

"No more flirting in my morgue," said Doc Robbins and shooed them out with a wave of his hands.

* * *

Grissom was laying out some evidence in the layout room when Sara appeared for the first time this case even though she should have been around the whole time. 

"Watcha doing?" she asked with a smile, eye-sexing him as she did so.

Grissom eye-sexed her back. "Nothing much. I've got the photos laid out from the crime scene seeing if I can figure out this case by just looking at some pictures."

"How's that working out for you?"

"Not too great I must admit but 'tis early days yet."

"Need any help?"

"Nope, feel free to continue whatever it is you were doing."

"That just it Grissom, I'm not doing anything! You never let me out into the field and it always seems that I'm not doing anything around the lab either. If our relationship thinks that it gives you the right to baby me, to keep me out of harms way in the lab, then forget it! Send me out into the field." Sara paused and allowed herself to look at Grissom. "Will this happen again?"

Grissom hung his head in remorse. "No dear."

"Good because I'm not ready to say goodbye." Sara walked back out into the lab, and who knows, maybe she will reappear later at the end of the case to create some angst and tension in her relationship with Grissom.

Grissom watched her leave through the glass and stood in silent contemplation for a while before walking out into the lab to get a cup of Blue Hawaiian coffee.

* * *

"I am the Rock!" Hodges cried. 

Grissom happened to be walking by at this time on his way to get some Blue Hawaiian coffee and managed to insinuate himself into Hodges seemingly apparent conversation with himself.

"No," he corrected. "As I told Warrick when I left on my sabbatical, he's the rock of my team. You are a lab tech who does appear to be seen more than Warrick but he has always been the rock. He most certainly was the rock when he was a gambler but now he's married Tina I never see him anymore. Quite obviously Tina makes him less of a rock but I'm not saying anything on that point."

"No Grissom, I'm the Rock, the wrestler." Hodges waited for Grissom to affirm that he knows the Rock but was rewarded with a blank stare from Grissom. "Anyhow, I've been accepted into a cage fight tournament and yay for me because I'm gonna kick some ass in it. First comes the basic cage fighting then comes WWE! I will be the next Rock."

Grissom gave Hodges a raised eyebrow. "I'm going to pretend to know what you're saying and slowly walk out of the room. In all this cage fighting you're going to do have you done the results I want?"

"Not yet but it is on the top of my pile."

"So you keep saying." Grissom walked out of the Trace lab and to the break room hopefully now to get his Blue Hawaiian coffee.

* * *

Luck was on Hodges side as the very next person he saw was the one he wanted to speak too. 

"Nick, Nicky," said Hodges and he gestured for Nick to come into the lab.

"You got those results Grissom wants yet?" he drawled.

"Not yet but I've got a question for you. I'm gonna to be cage fighting in a week and I was wondering if you could tell me the secret to those muscles."

"Working out in the gym for many, many years,"

"Oh…Well do you think you could tell me the secret to your soft, shiny hair."

"No," said Nick and he walked out of the trace lab, running his hand through his soft, shiny hair.

* * *

Through Grissom made it to the break room he still didn't get that cup of Blue Hawaiian he was desperately craving. Sara walked into the break room just as he got there and though he didn't mind talking to her, it was a little unusual for her to be in the lab at all, much less in his presence for the second time in one day. 

Grissom didn't like puzzles or mysteries to remain unsolved so he put off his cup of coffee to talk to Sara about this interesting appearance.

He didn't get a chance to ask his first question he posed as Sara spoke first.

"Do me on the table."

"What?" said Grissom, even taking a moment to peer over his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Sure the eyesex is great and everything but I want something more in a relationship at the office. I'm not one to spread rumors," Sara glanced down the hall, "but even Judy and Archie have progressed from eyesex. Same applies for Warrick and Catherine…"

"Ah, the rock of my team," mumbled Grissom. "Wait, isn't he married?"

Sara raised her eyebrow. This was either in response to Grissom's pointless question or to the fact that Grissom had interrupted her as he often does.

She managed to pick up her sentence where she left off. "Rumor around the break room table is that Nick and Greg even…" She let her sentence drift off.

Grissom leaned forward in his chair, expectation evident in his eyes.

"Someone called for a spork?" shouted Sofia as she bounded into the break room, spork in hand.

Grissom and Sara looked at each other. "Not me," said Sara as she shared a shrug with Grissom.

"Shouldn't you be at PD?" asked Grissom.

"You know me," said Sofia enthusiastically, "I'm always ready to appear at inappropriate moments. Take, for example, when I came back as a detective. Bet you didn't expect that? Then I said that there we some things about the lab I missed. Well let me tell you Grissom, you were one of them."

Sara was visibly shocked by Sofia's forwardness though it was Grissom who was first to speak. "The other things you missed?"

"Greg's Blue Hawaiian coffee. I must admit, not even Starbucks brews coffee that good." Sofia helped herself to a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

"And you decided to come here and interrupt our conversation now?" asked Sara.

"It seemed inappropriate," said Sofia. "It appears that I was right."

"Well go find someone else to annoy," said Grissom. "And take that useless spork with you as well!"

Sofia downed her cup of coffee and wandered out of the break room. As she reached the threshold of the door she turned around. "Sporks are not useless," she said quite annoyed. "I use them for many things. Off the top of my head they're quite useful when I go camping as it lighter than a fork and a spoon." Grissom and Sara just stared. "Well it would appear that I've overstayed my welcome in this place called the Crime Lab so I'll be on my way. Just remember that you have my number Grissom." Sofia quickly and merrily skipped down the hall.

"We'll talk later," said Sara as she walked out of the break room to plan the demise of Sofia, the useless spork enthusiast.

Grissom looked around the empty break room. "Now I can finally have that cup of coffee," he said aloud to no one in particular.


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom was sitting reading _The Journal of Forensic Science _when the silence he had been enjoying was rudely interrupted by Nick and Greg.

"What is your problem?" yelled Nick.

"What's yours?" shouted Greg.

"I don't get it," said Nick, lowering the tone of his voice. "I was talking to Bobby Dawson and now you're like this…" 

"Exactly! Don't play innocent with me Mr. Stokes, I know all about Bobby Dawson."

"You two," shouted Grissom over the collective yelling of them both. "Shut up right now. Why don't you tell me what's happened."

"Way to ruin our fun," said Greg. "I was ready to break out in song."

"Every single day, I walk down the street I hear people say: 'Baby's so sweet!'" Nick began to sing. "Ever since puberty everybody stares at me, boys, girls I can't help it, baby. So be kind, and don't lose your mind just remember, that I'm your baby.

"Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be! And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me! Take me baby or leave me!

"A tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs her stage, baby, let's have fun! You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes! You love the limelight too now, baby! So be mine, and don't waste my time Cryin', 'Oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?'"

"Don't you dare!" Greg shouted at Nick.

"Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be! And, if you give a damn, Take me baby, or leave me!

"No way, can I be what I'm not! But hey, don't you want your girl hot? Don't fight, don't loose your head, 'cause every night who's in your bed? Who? Who's in your bed?"

Now speaking Nick said, "Kiss pookie…"

Greg picked up where Nick left off "It won't work! I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep, baby. What's my sin? Never quit. I follow through. I hate mess but I love you. What to do with my impromptu baby? So be wise, 'cause this girl satisfies, you got a prize, but don't compromise you're one lucky baby!!!

"STOP IT!" yelled Grissom. He immediately got Nick and Greg's attention. "Though I have a problem with you referring to yourself in the feminine throughout that song what I really want to know is what is going on?" 

"It was a song designed for two women," shared Nick with a shrug. "Not all musical numbers are perfect when preformed in real life I do admit. But come on Gris, couldn't you let us at least finish the song?"

"Nick was blatantly flirting with Bobby Dawson!" said Greg.

"Was not!"

"Don't try to deny Nicky, I saw you. I saw the way you casually reached over to get the report from the bullets found at the scene. I saw you…" 

"You're being ridiculous man! Next you'll be saying I was flirting with Hodges!"

"Now you mention it I did see you run your hand through that soft, shiny hair of yours after an encounter with Hodges. He say something nice to you maybe?"

"So Bobby…" Grissom began but he was cut off by Nick's fast response.

"Stop being so jealous Greg. Did that song we sing mean nothing to you?" 

"It would have if Grissom hadn't cut us off halfway through. For something to be great it needs to have a musical number but we didn't get ours."

"You're right. Really this is all Grissom's fault for not letting us finish our song." 

Grissom looked slightly scared. "What are you talking about? Be thankful I didn't let you finish the song. I've seen the movie and I know how that song ends. Didn't it end with "I'm gone!'?"

"Why have you seen the movie?" asked Nick. "It's not exactly a movie for a man to watch by himself…"

"Grissom's got himself a girlfriend!" said Greg.

"I knew it!" said Nick. "I had a conversation with Catherine to that extent just before you left on your sabbatical."

"Don't I get a say in this?" asked Grissom.

"So, who's the lucky girl?" asked Nick.

"Does Sara know?" asked Greg, concerned for her. The entire lab knew about the history that Grissom and Sara had shared since she had arrived at the lab. They were a little unsure what had happened before Sara turned up in Vegas but like every good crime lab, there were rumors.

Grissom looked at them both but before he could think of a cover story he was thankfully saved by Breasts and the Rock.

"Pillow fight," said Breasts, running down the hall complete with a pillow in hand.

"I'll get you Catherine!" said the Rock, also with a pillow.

Their yelling certainly got the attention of Nick and Greg and allowed Grissom to say, "this is why Warrick is the rock of my team," before he scurried out of the break room to the safety of his office.

Pillows magically appeared in the hands on Nick and Greg and they, being grown men who never said no to a pillow fight, joined in.

Soon the entire lab was engulfed in feathers, yelling could be heard from most. The mood was soon ruined.

"Just what do you think is going on here?" asked Ecklie in his booming voice that wasn't all that booming.

"Nothing sir," said Greg as he ducked a flying feather ball.

"Well I want it stopped right now." 

"No can do Ecklie," said Mandy. "You see…" She proceeded into a long winded reason why they couldn't stop the pillow fight while Archie, Judy, and Bobby Dawson went in for the kill.

Mandy, Archie, Judy, and Bobby Dawson were all members of the underappreciated members of the Crime Lab and had bonded together. They had always wanted to make a fool of Ecklie and they didn't want this opportunity to get wasted.

As Mandy talked to Ecklie, Judy and Archie ripped open pillows and stood on a ladder that appeared out of no where. It was the role of Bobby Dawson to get down on his hands and knees behind Ecklie so, when the moment was right, Mandy could totally by accident push Ecklie over. Judy and Archie would then pour feathers over him. If only they had some tar…

"And that you see Sir is why we can't end this pillow fight." Mandy looked like she was about to walk off and on the way gentle bumped into Ecklie. It was a carefully calculated move that would hopefully carry enough force to propel Ecklie over Bobby Dawson.

Ecklie screamed on the way down.

"Ecklie," Breasts gasped, coming to a rest at his feet. "Are you all right? Is there something I can do to help? What was meant as a simple demonstration of how our victim died has now spiraled terribly out of control." Breasts bent down on her knees placing her chest awfully close to Ecklie's face.

Ecklie eyes glazed over, totally captivated by what was right in his face. If only he had a dollar for every time he had imagined this. "Fine…ah…I'm fine." Ecklie quickly got to his feet.

Breasts stood up and pulled her shirt down to expose some more cleavage. "Well like I said, sorry. Warrick and I were doing a reenactment of how our victim died then everyone seemed to get pillows and it largely got out of hand…"

Grissom had emerged from his office at this point and like everyone who worked at the Crime Lab had gathered in the hallway. "So the ballistics that Bobby Dawson has is effectively useless…?"

"Not at all Gil. We got a hit from the bullet so Brass is interviewing a suspect with Sofia now as we speak," said Breasts. "I've been teaching Sofia my moves so I think she'll get the guy to talk."

"Where's Sara?" asked Greg so he didn't have to sit through another innuendo filled conversation between the Rock and Breasts.

"Haven't seen her since the break room," admitted Grissom. "I think there was some plans involving Sofia that may or may not result in death but I can't be to sure. She did say she'd talk to me later so that's usually a good sign."

"She'll turn up," affirmed Nick just for the purpose of everyone who didn't get that from what Grissom said.

"Well back to work people," said Ecklie. "I don't pay you to stand around, not solving crimes."

"Nope," said Grissom. "That would be the role of Clarke County and the city of Las Vegas."

Ecklie shot him a glare, knowing that there was no way he could beat that comeback, before he went back to his office.


End file.
